


A Different Road

by DeathAroundtheBend



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: One Shot, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:34:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27822337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathAroundtheBend/pseuds/DeathAroundtheBend
Summary: A 24-year-old man wakes up in the body of Harry Potter. Determined to not die and live peacefully he changes the storyline. For one he doesn't go to Hogwarts, and he will never have to if he has his way. Join him as he navigates Stonewall High and avoids anything that requires 'too much effort'.(I don't plan to contiue this story any time soon as I'm focusing on my other one.)
Kudos: 2





	A Different Road

Chapter One: Waking Up Wrong

* * *

"Watch the bacon, boy!"

_'Bacon?'_ A sizzling noise to his left caught his attention. There, on a pan, bacon was beginning to burn. ' _Oh sh*t, bacon!'_

He hurriedly placed the bacon on three plates with the expertise no ten-year-old would have.

_'Wait. Why the hell am I cooking bacon?'_

It was a very logical question to ask. He didn't like bacon, so it clearly wasn't for him, and he'd quit his job at the restaurant. So why was he cooking bacon?

"Well don't just stand there boy! Bring us our food!" The man from before shouted.

Maybe he was at the restaurant.

Nope.

The boy turned around and nearly dropped the three plates he was balancing.

At the table sat a fat man, a fat boy, and a stick-like lady. Who the hell were these people? And why did they look semi-familiar?

He quickly put down the plates on the table, avoiding the mountain of presents the fat boy had received. Then stood off to the side awkwardly. What was he supposed to do now?

Then the phone rang and the skinny lady left to go answer it.

Meanwhile, the fat boy opened more of his presents while she was gone. He got a racing bike, an old camera, an airplane, a VCR and a gold watch.

When the lady came back she was pale and angry.

"Mrs. Figg broke her leg," she said, throwing an accusing glare at the boy who had served them breakfast. "She won't be able to take him."

"What do you propose we do?" The fat man asked.

"Well, we certainly can't leave him here. I don't want him in my house, filthying up the place with his freakiness."

"We could phone Marge."

"Don't be silly, she hates the boy."

"What about your friend what's-her-name?"

"On vacation." She sighed. "I suppose we'll have to take him with us and leave him in the car."

"That car's new. No way he's staying in there alone."

Suddenly the fat boy started to wail. He sounded like a siren. The boy that stood off to the side got a sense of deja vu. Why did this scene look so familiar?

While the lady tried to calm down the boy who she had called "Dinky Duddydums." The other boy stood off to the side wondering if he was dreaming. It seemed the most reasonable explanation.

Before he could figure out who the hell these people were the doorbell rang and he was dragged out the door. Then the fat man took him aside and waved his meaty finger in the boy's face.

"I'm warning you," he said, "any funny business and you'll be in your cupboard until Christmas."

The boy nodded dumbly. What was happening?

The car ride wasn't peaceful. The fat man kept on complaining about everything and anything.

When they arrived at the zoo, realization struck the boy in the face.

"Um.. can I go to the bathroom?" He asked.

"Speak up, boy!" The man, Vernon? commanded.

"The loo," he said, starting to panic. "I need to use the loo."

"Fine," the man said gruffly, "but we're not waiting for you."

The boy nodded his thanks and ran into the nearest bathroom.

The mirror confirmed his suspicions.

_'I'm Harry Potter. I'm Harry f*cking Potter. Ah hell.'_

Chapter Two: It's My Life

* * *

'Harry' spent the rest of the trip to the zoo hiding in the bathroom. He tried multiple things to see if he was dreaming.

He pinched himself, splashed water in his face, looked at the clock, tried to summon a cat, but nothing ever happened.

Somehow he had ended up in the body of a ten-year-old and he hadn't the faintest idea how he got there. There was one thing he knew for sure though.

No way in hell was he going to go to Hogwarts.

If he really was stuck here then he was going to do everything in his power to not be involved with Voldemort and his followers.

There was also no way he would continue to sleep in a cupboard. Though he didn't know how to make the Dursleys give him a new room. He'd get to that when it came up.

You see the person who now inhabited young Harry Potter's body was someone who was known to 'go with the flow.' So if he had to live as the main character of a book so be it.

A plan started to form in his brain and he couldn't help but smile. For now, he would be Harry Potter, a meek orphan who lived under the stairs, but once he got his letter, things were going to _change_.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back!  
> So I'm planning to pick up writing HP and Too Many People again, but I saw this in my drafts and decided I'd post it. I will be updating HP and Too Many People soon, I've got some ideas (though I have yet to rewrite the story. I'm holding off on that.)  
> I've got a bunch of other story ideas which I'm hoping to write at some point.  
> See ya soon!


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